Sounds like the lead for an afternoon talk show, doesn’t it? Well, it could be. Every day, all over America, immature two-year-olds are doing and saying things that break up marriages.
What do I mean?
Every one of us has a two-year-old living inside. The great qualities of this two-year-old are he loves adventure, she uses her creativity to paint, decorate, solve problems at home and at work, he initiates fun, and finds amazing solutions to persistent problems.
But when this two-year-old isn’t given it’s own way, watch out! He throws a tantrum. She gives him the cold shoulder. He recruits his friends and family to be on his side. She uses sarcastic humor to belittle him. They both either yell or endure days of silence. These behaviors erode whatever love brought them together. If unchecked, these inner two-year-olds tear apart the fabric of a marriage.
Like every two-year-old, the one inside needs a loving, wise parent to give him a time out when he’s about to do or say something hurtful. She needs firm control when she’s about to cut loose with biting criticism. Both need to sit in a corner to calm down when their behavior is about to become disrespectful rather than constructive.
Time outs for inner two-year-olds prevented a lot of damage for one couple this week. When she said, “I need a time out,” he just said, “OK” and left her alone rather than pressing to continue their conversation. When he called a time out on himself, and went into the other room to vent his frustration, she didn’t take it personally, but let him yell into the air, just glad it wasn’t at her.
When the air was cleared, and both “kids” had calmed down, they had several sane, calm discussions over the next few days that moved their marriage firmly back into the “loving, and working together peacefully” arena.
This couple was tired of suffering through the chaos and destruction experienced when their two-year-olds were allowed to “act out” in their marriage. They are both developing their inner, wise, loving parent who will intercept an about-to-lose-control inner child before he or she does damage.
No one wants to act like, or live with a two-year-0ld out of control! If you’re tired of cleaning up the mess left in the wake of your two-year-old’s tantrums, you can exchange that behavior for loving alternatives, just like my smart clients did this past week!
They learned these skills in MODULE SIX of the Millionaire Marriage Club along with support in their coaching appointments. You can also purchase a mini-course entitled, “Maintaining Respect 24/7” from my website page under “The Club.”
Wishing you all the love and respect in your marriage (and other relationships) that you desire and deserve!