Our Children Destroyed Our Marriage!

Sounds like the lead for an afternoon talk show, doesn’t it?  Well, it could be.  Every day, all over America, immature two-year-olds are doing and saying things that break up marriages.

What do I mean?

Every one of us has a two-year-old living inside.  The great qualities of this two-year-old are he loves adventure, she uses her creativity to paint, decorate, solve problems at home and at work, he initiates fun, and finds amazing solutions to persistent problems.

But when this two-year-old isn’t given it’s own way, watch out!  He throws a tantrum.  She gives him the cold shoulder.  He recruits his friends and family to be on his side. She uses sarcastic humor to belittle him. They both either yell or endure days of silence.  These behaviors erode whatever love brought them together.  If unchecked, these inner two-year-olds tear apart the fabric of a marriage.

Like every two-year-old, the one inside needs a loving, wise parent to give him a time out when he’s about to do or say something hurtful.  She needs firm control when she’s about to cut loose with biting criticism.  Both need to sit in a corner to calm down when their behavior is about to become disrespectful rather than constructive.

Time outs for inner two-year-olds prevented a lot of damage for one couple this week.  When she said, “I need a time out,” he just said, “OK” and left her alone rather than pressing to continue their conversation.  When he called a time out on himself, and went into the other room to vent his frustration, she didn’t take it personally, but let him yell into the air, just glad it wasn’t at her.

When the air was cleared, and both “kids” had calmed down, they had several sane, calm discussions over the next few days that moved their marriage firmly back into the “loving, and working together peacefully” arena.

This couple was tired of suffering through the chaos and destruction experienced when their two-year-olds were allowed to “act out” in their marriage.  They are both developing their inner, wise, loving parent who will intercept an about-to-lose-control inner child before he or she does damage.

No one wants to act like, or live with a two-year-0ld out of control!  If you’re tired of cleaning up the mess left in the wake of your two-year-old’s tantrums, you can exchange that behavior for loving alternatives, just like my smart clients did this past week!

They learned these skills in MODULE SIX of the Millionaire Marriage Club along with support in their coaching appointments.  You can also purchase a mini-course entitled, “Maintaining Respect 24/7” from my website page under “The Club.”

Wishing you all the love and respect in your marriage (and other relationships)  that you desire and deserve!

 

 

 

Hopefulness Turned to Disillusionment? Krystel Can Help!

Note from Nancy:  I am so excited to introduce to you Krystel Doudera, my new associate coach!  Krystel and her husband Earle  did a massive amount of work on their own marriage with amazing results.  Now she is dedicated to bring those same transformative results to other young couples who want the marriage of their dreams, but don’t know how to achieve it.  Here is her story:

 Although we were high school sweethearts, we waited to get married until after we finished college. We both secured stable jobs. We went through premarital counseling. We read every book, blog, and article about marriage suggested to us. We even interviewed several couples asking for advice or “secrets” to a long-lasting marriage!

Yet on the day we returned from our honeymoon, we had our first fight. And it was ugly.

Thus, began our cycle. We were so full of love when we were happy with each other, but when we disagreed, our poor communication and disrespectful behaviors tore at our hearts and our dreams resulting in hurt, regret, withdrawal, hopelessness and finally, passive acceptance.

We got plenty of good advice, but had no idea how to implement it.  How could we have the happy soulmate marriage we wanted?

Enter Nancy Landrum, a wise coach who taught us how to communicate RESPECTFULLY even when we disagreed.  Once we fully committed to using these new skills, we never had another fight and soon resolved our differences.

Now these powerful skills enable us to successfully navigate every new life-stress including welcoming a new baby!  We enjoy treating each other with respect 24/7 and have consistent love and peace between us.

I am excited to teach you these same skills that transformed our relationship.  You deserve to have the marriage you thought you were getting when you said, “I do!”  Use the calendar link below to schedule a complimentary appointment with me.

Appointment with Krystel

Or you may prefer to call or email me:

424-382-4787  krystel.doudera@gmail.com