Is your life looking like the blueprints you had in your mind ten or twenty years ago? Is your marriage living up to the dreams you had for it?
Or are you suffering with a marriage or relationship that isn’t matching your plans?
“When life doesn’t match your blueprints, you suffer.” I’m sorry I don’t remember where I picked up this statement, but isn’t it the TRUTH?!
When my body isn’t in the shape I want…When my partner doesn’t act lovingly toward me…When my child doesn’t live up to the potential I see in him or her…When my income isn’t what I’ve dreamed of…When… (fill in the blanks.)
And then perhaps you want to shoot the friend who says, “Everything works out for the best,” Or the spiritual leader who says, “We are providentially given the lessons we need to learn,” or, “Life is a school with lessons custom designed for each of us.”
I’ve had a few lessons that I wouldn’t have wished on my worst enemy, (if I had one!) There were times when, truthfully, I just wanted my life to be over. Sometimes THIS life is just too hard…too unbearable.
I’ve been widowed twice. I’ve had major challenges in relationship to my children and step-children. I’ve gone through a few seasons of financial strain. My body has broken down and periodically caused me great pain, both emotionally and physically. I’m experiencing aging…and facing what might be seen as the final decades of my life.
And yet, every tough season, every lesson learned, has delivered or brought me closer to my childhood dreams of (1) enjoying a loving, peaceful relationship with the love of my life, (2) having five children, (3) participating in loving relationships with each of them, and (4) writing books to help others have loving relationships. The bonus has been my practice of personally coaching couples and seeing an online course published to help those, and other couples become more loving.
What were your life blueprints? What areas of your life look like a building plan gone awry? Who are you blaming for “mistakes” that have brought you a life that is a disaster in some area or another?
If you (or I) are suffering, it is because we long for a perfect construction being built according to our blueprints. When our life doesn’t match our plans, we suffer.
I have the advantage of looking back and appreciating how perfect the lessons have been that I needed to achieve my childhood dreams. I still have circumstances I don’t particularly like, but I am not fighting them as desperately as I used to. So, what am I doing instead?
- I express gratitude for every lesson…sometimes through gritted teeth, but GRATITUDE.
- I look for and expect to be given teachers, guides, skills that will enable me to move through the suffering to a solution that works for me.
- I trust that there is a Guiding Force, the Universe, God who is orchestrating a PLAN that is perfect for me…and supporting me as I do my best to cooperate with my journey.
- I celebrate every success: each time that I choose food that is healthy for me, each coaching session where couples are excited about less hurt and more love because of skills I’m teaching them, every loving interaction with a family member or friend, each offer of help or evidence that I am, indeed, being guided.
I can’t help with many things that may be causing you pain, but if your marriage or love relationship isn’t matching your dreams, call me. I may be able to show you how Jim and I achieved the marriage that matched our blueprints! We’ll start with a complimentary appointment to see if your needs match my skills…and if they do, we’ll work out a plan to move toward enabling your relationship to come closer to the dream blueprint you had in mind!