There seems to be a popular myth/belief being propagated by movies and other media that there is only one soul mate on the earth per person. If I were to believe this, I would feel very tentative about developing a relationship with anyone, let alone someone with flaws.
If I “fell in love” and committed to a relationship that later ran into conflicts, rather than knowing this is normal and we’ll work it out, I’d tend to believe that I jumped the gun and married the wrong person. I’d leave that relationship and go back to hunting for Mr/Mrs Right.
Sometimes it’s true that in our inexperience, or from our own level of dysfunction, we choose a person who is poor commitment material. Over time addictions or patterns of abuse show up that make a healthy relationship unattainable. But most problems/conflicts are only a call to personal and couple growth.
In choosing a life-time partner it’s certainly important to find someone who shares one’s values, who exhibits a significant level of responsibility and who demonstrates the capacity to be caring and, at times, selfless in their relationships. Hopefully you’d attend a marriage prep class or a relationship skills class to be sure you had the communication, conflict management and problem solving skills needed in any lifetime relationship.
With those items checked off the essentials list and assuming there’s a level of chemistry that makes commitment desirable, you can know that your chances of a satisfying marriage and life together are very good.
Are you allowing a cultural fad to create fear around finding a suitable mate? Are you looking for a way out of a relationship because you have unrealistic expectations that a soul mate relationship wouldn’t have challenges?
How to Stay Married & Love It! Describes how to create the SoulMate marriage of your dreams even if your marriage is currently unhappy! (LINK) This book is a must read for ideas about how to choose a partner that will go the distance with you: Smart Marriage, Using your Head as Well as Your Heart to Find Wedded Bliss. By Allen Parkman, Ph.D., J.D. eBook on Amazon. (LINK)